Finding Hope

C. 22 year old female. Lives in Australia. Occupational therapy student at university. Battling borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and depression and anxiety. Messages and asks are very welcome :)

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learningtoeat-again:

the thing i hate the most about the ed recovery community is when people who follow mm claim they’re in ‘real recovery’ and undermine other people’s methods which aren’t mm

YES! It annoys the hell out of me when people doing MM claim that if you eat under 3000 calories a day or don’t eat processed and/or sugar laden food, you’re in “quasi” which is completely untrue. 

(via whyminniemaud)

aintgottimefoeyoshyte:

Please tell me what do you guys get out of posting pics of your cuts on social media? Is it that you get a rush of excitement each time someone likes/reblogs your pic? Or is it that you want someone to message you telling you not to self harm? You people are blatantly romanticising self harm and…

Unless I really really like the person or know them in real life, I instantly unfollow if I see someone posting a photo of their cutting from self harm. It’s not so much I get triggered, more that I’m squeamish and can’t bear seeing blood and gore. Even though I’ve never done this nor will I ever, I can to an extent get that it’s a way of seeking validation and support for emotional distress. It really isn’t a healthy or helpful way of doing so though, both for the person posting the photo or the people around them.

Had a psychiatrist appointment yesterday. Got my lithium levels back- it was 0.41 which is below the therapeutic range so the dose has been doubled and I’m now on 900mg SR. 

Then had DBT individual session. Which involved again a chain analysis of what led to self harm, and then identifying skills I could’ve used instead. So freaking boring and monotonous, which just makes me frustrated. DBT individual sessions feel like such a chore and like it just drags on, I actually would rather sit through 2.5 hrs of DBT group than 1.5 hrs of individual therapy. 

Because I’m going to the TheMHS conference I get to miss my individual session this week though, yay!

whyminniemaud:

[Before I begin I will again say that this is in no way a jibe against Gwyn Olwyn or MinnieMaud, but more the thought processes of the community the two have created.  This community and way of thinking may not have been the intention of Ms. Olwyn, but there is no denying its existence and prevalence on both Tumblr, as well as elsewhere on the web.]

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There’s an awareness photo going around social media that says

"One in five. That’s how many anorexia sufferers die. 20% […]"

Whenever I see it, I’m just so tempted to respond with “Well actually, technically 100% of anorexia sufferers die, because you know, we all die in the end.”

I wish people would be a little more precise and technical in their use of language.

Lemon cupcake. No dog, all for me and none for you!

Bowl of hot minestrone on a cold rainy day. I like meals where I can chuck everything in and it’s got everything I need- veges, carbs (pasta), protein (chickpeas) and fats (cheese)! #edsoldiers #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveringaussies #recoveringperthies

prostheticfortheamupatedspirit:

I am not too big. I am simply bigger than I am used to being. There is a difference.

(via elizabeth--avenged)

Purged with such force that my nose started bleeding. Fun times trying to purge while trying to ignore the steady flow of blood dripping down my nose to mix in with my vomit. Yep, eating disorders are so fun and glamorous. 

Winter is turning into spring which will turn into summer. With the change in seasons I’m getting nervous about wearing clothes that will expose my body more. I currently weigh about 10-11 kg more than I did this time last year and I just feel so self concious and fat and I’m afraid that people will think “Wow she’s gained so much weight” and that I’ve let myself go. At least in winter it’s less obvious when you’re covered in jeans and jumpers and jackers all the time.